Two shitty workouts 12 hours apart

Yesterday's punishment (my lazy ass didn't get up at 6am so I hit up 6pm):

Courtesy of J.Gilson @ CrossFit "Again Faster"
AMRAP in 10 minutes:
10 Hang Power Clean [63/95]
10 Burpees
- - - - - - - - - -
Extra Work:
50 GHD Sit-Ups
50 GHD Hypers

Result: 4 rounds + 1 burpee
Pukey Scale: 3

Hey J.Gilson... FUCK YOU! Thanks for the horrible workout asshole. Did you and Jason become sadistic pen pals over craigslist or something? Had this one been a 5 min amrap I would have done fine and it wouldn't have been so bad but I started cracking at about 7 mins in and my cleans went to shit. Total failure the last 3 mins, that sucked. I cooled off in the hurricane that hit us right when the workout started. Felt good. Krock and Rob both felt pukey but didn't quite pop. (Just feeling pukey for Kristin is like a 6 on the normal pukey scale.) If you ain't puking you ain't trying. Had my cleans not failed me I would have been right there with them. The extra work sucked too. Thanks Jason, you dick.

Today's punishment (12 hours later):

3 rds of:

Row 750/500/250 Meters

SB Bench Press 21-15-9 [@ 75%/100% of Body Weight]

KTE 21-15-9

*Rest as needed between rounds

Result: @125 (We'll have to find out this from Jason, he had some crazy math scribbled down that was supposed to be my time)
Pukey scale: 3.5 (No barf thanks to the breaks)

6AM was all slow getting going this morning, me included. Sarah and Jason tried to trick me into thinking we would skip the WOD and hit up Bennett's for some donuts... its too early for such pranks. The two paleos almost got me to believe it. By the time we actually got to this bitch of a WOD it was already 6:40. I weighed in this morning at 160 and for some stupid reason I thought that is what I was going to bench that. I have never even tried to bench that much before but fuck it, its Friday right? I quickly came to my senses as mixing the row would severely hinder my ability to push out 21 reps over my 5-rep max. No, I did 125 instead (78.125%). Man, it still sucked. Performance-wise I think I did ok. I hope Jason's CF football workout is extra hard today.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

CFFM: Crossfit For Masocists

Today's punishment:

"The Twins"
"Your Choice", pick one OR two of the following WOD's:
1.) "Death by 10 Meters"
2.) Row 3-K for best time
3.) 5 min. Max Rep D/U's

Result: 3.) 113 1) 12 runs
Pukey Scale: 1 of 5

Are we all masochists? I don't consider myself a prude by any means but I have never been into whips, chains, choking, or snuff porn. Dominatrices scare me more than turn me on. Handcuffs are more of a nuisance than an aphrodisiac. Could I really be a masochist?

I had the "choice" to do one or two of the WODs. I chose two. First up was the double unders. 113 was the magic number. I was having some problems midway with doing more than five in a row but it picked up in the end. I took a little break and moved on to "Death by 10 Meters." This one is funny because it goes from redonkulously easy to impossible. And it is impossible, even Usain Bolt will eventually fail although I imagine it would be much later than when I did. Big thanks to Sarah who, in a show of fellow masochism, jumped in with me mid-workout. (Plus she is doing an endurance WOD later in the day, CRAZY!)

So I could have done one WOD and went home but I did two. What does this mean? I have been going to a place for over a year that's motto is "Show up to throw up." The Crossfit program routinely beats up on the Crossfiters and we take it with pride and enthusiasm. One of the definitions of masocism is "a willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences." Well shit, I guess that answers the question. Don't get me wrong, the benefits are there but maybe there is an easier way. I don't really care, I accept my fate. In the end its pretty gratififying even if it is a pyschological disorder. That won't stop me from continuing to hate Jason and expose all his evil deeds.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

Hot Hot Heat

Today's punishment

For time:

100 WBS [14#/20#]

50 Box Jumps @ 20"

Run 1-Mile

Result: 22:42
Pukey Scale: 3 of 5

This one was a strange one. It sucked but I thought it was going to be worse. My target was to be sub 30 mins and I got that for sure, however, I think it was just average performance (thanks to an inconsistent run). I was really expecting the worst If you haven't noticed, its getting really fucking hot though. Jason is really punishing you PM'ers today make sure you drink LOTS of water.

I was chatting with Sarah about reading the workout before sleeping or first thing in the morning. I checked it before and had a dream/nightmare about today's wod last night. I dreamed about some crazy contraption Jason made to make WBS harder. It was like two medicine balls on a tether and you swung them while you squatted. I have really vivid dreams, most of them are seriously fucked up. This is mild in comparison.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

Stuntman Mike Diet

Monday morning punishment:

3 rds:
60 seconds, Max Rep Pull-Ups
Run 200-M
Row 60 seconds, Max Cals

*Rest 3 min. between rds
*Score total # of Pull-Ups + Calories

Result: 107
Pukey Scale: 2 (had there been no rest it would have been a 5)

I am really surprised Jason let us rest between rounds. If it wasn't for those short three minutes, pukeyness definitly would have ensued. I actually did ok for a 6 AM Monday. My target was to average 20 across the board but that didn't happen after the first round. After last week's overall suckfest, I still think I started this week pretty strong.

I noticed a lot of you blogging the food, after last week I got to thinking maybe my nutrition isn't where it should be at. So I concocted a plan that I started this weekend:

The Stuntman Mike Diet

The Stuntman Mike diet works similar to the zone. We focus on three macro nutrients but I call them chunks instead of blocks. The three main macro nutrients are saturated fat, sugar, and alcohol. Two grams of sat. fat, ten grams of sugar, and a half an alcoholic drink each total for one chunk (the sugars in beer are included into the alcohol). So lets see how I did this weekend:

Saturday -
8:00 AM Calistoga - Bacon egg and cheese croissant sandwich and coffee with half & half and sugar 7-4-0
9:30 AM Golf - Four Coors Lights 0-0-8
1:00 PM Beef O'Brady's - Five Hot Wings dipped in blue cheese and one beer 6-0-0
4:00 PM Rob's pool - One Mojito, two Coors Lights 0-0-8 (Rob makes strong Mojito, that bitch counts as two)
6:30 PM Leeroy Selmon's - Eight BBQ wings dipped in ranch, 1/3 plate of nachos, and two sweet teas 15-9-0
8:30 PM Reserve and the Buddah - One Jager Bomb, five pints of Guinness, two Pints of Black & Blues, one Yingling straight from the pitcher. 0-0-18
2:45 AM IHOP - Stuffed french toast, two eggs, hash browns, and bacon. (also I stole two onion rings from my friend Brian when he wasn't looking. those were the bestest onion rings ever... because I stole them) 10-12-0

Sunday -
8:30 AM Bennett's - Boston cream donut and coffee with half & half and sugar. 4-8-0
(If you haven't been to Bennett's in Downtown Fort Myers, I highly recommend it! best.donuts.ever.)
12:00 PM Chili's - Three boneless chicken wings, two sliders, half a quesadilla, two sweet teas, one margarita. 18-9-2
3:00 PM Beach - Two Coors Lights 0-0-4
5:30 PM Abbot's - Black Raspberry Frozen Custard with gummy bears on top. 4-15-0
(Also have to give a recommendation to Abbot's this was my first time and I was really impressed although the gummy bears were a bit much, that's what happens when left to my vices)
8:00 PM Wendy's - Single combo with cheese (Coke) and a small Frosty. 8-9-0

Ok, all kidding a side this was seriously a bad weekend for me eating wise. Back to zone bars and protein shakes, joy oh joy.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike