KBS as RX'd bitches...

Punishment of the day:

For time:
5 rds of
10 SDLHP [63/95]
10 Box Jumps @ 20"
Then, 5 rds of
10 KBS [16K/24K]
10 Pull-Ups

Result: 24:59
Pukey Scale: 2.5* out of 5 (KBS actually made me want to shit instead of puke, luckily no skid marks)

Jason attempted to thwart my quest towards RX'd today by throwing in commie swings. I have been working on them, it's a Friday, fuck it I am going full RX'd. Sumos were tough, box jumps not so much, although they don't give you a good chance to catch your breath. Then on to the evil commie swings. 24kg (that equals 53 lbs for those of you that don't understand the socialist metric system, D$ I am specifically talking to you) completely sucks giant donkey balls. I wasn't going to let Jason beat me. I was doing ok on the kips although my grip kept failing me. By the end of round three I was staring at the evil commie trap and thinking about dropping the weight. NO. DON'T LET JASON WIN! They were ugly, they were slow, but eventually they were finished. Clocking in at a not so great time of almost 25 minutes, I conquered that bastard Jason AND the treacherous commies at their own game. After finally finishing, I laid my ass down in front of the giant fan and completely shut down. When I returned from my haze back into general consciousness, I looked at my throbbing hands, now bleeding from the torn callouses, and smiled.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

Rob vs the Rower

Rob is supposed to write a guest blog entry for today.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

Without further ado....

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I was going to give you a little Stuntman Mike style history of the rower, but Vikings were real men and didn’t have time after raping and pillaging to keep records (Plus records can be upheld in a court of law, and Vikings didn’t liked being fucked with by The Man).

So I like to express myself today using the modern and sophisticated art of the nursery rhyme (that's right mother fuckers, I said nursery rhyme).

Prepare to have your faces melted:

Row, Row, Row the Rower

You will lose your spleen

Hurling, Hurling, Hurling, Hurling

Jason will make you scream

No seriously Jason will make you scream... haven’t you ever seen that dude in Friday the 13^th??! Scary shit...

F-EVERYONE!

Big Rob

Now where are the paparazzi?

Today's punishment got the the title of...

"15 Minutes of Fame"

1.) Five (5) minutes "Anyway Overhead" Max Reps @ 93/135
Then ...
2.) Ten (10) minutes AMRAP of:
50-ft Walking Lunge
Alley Sprint

Result: 25 @ 95lbs + 9 rounds
Pukey Scale: 2 out of 5

Seriously? I am much more famous then all of you bitches. You haven't seen my biography "Death Proof"? In true Tarantino style, QT took some serious liberties with facts and events but I think he got the character down right! Crazy, check. Creepy, check. Antisocial, check. Fantasizes about running people over, check. Has a book with people's names in it that will eventually be used for revenge, check. Speaking of checks... where is my motha-fucking royalty check? Quentin you are in my book, unfortunately I have to file you under "dead beat."

Oh yeah, the PoD today wasn't too killer. The "Grace" part kind of sucked but not as bad as when it was actually "Grace." The pukey scale got to maybe a three at that point but died down for the final two thirds of the work out. Don't get me wrong... the lunges sucked the most but not in a vomit inducing way.

Work sucks today. I haven't been able to work on my secret Crossfit project at all, not to mention I had to deal with D$ harassment.

Actual email conversation between D$ and me (also sent to Rob but he was too busy actually working to get in on it):

Derick:

Nice photos on the W.O.D. pussies. I see Jim has exchanged the shocker for the bird. Nice transition. Everyone was on to your subtle shocker posses anyway Jim.

Hey, help me out fellas. What does this mean--à Five (5) minutes “Anyway Overhead” Max Reps @ 93/135?

I understand the time and the pounds, but not “Anyway Overhead”.

Help me out you Crossfit sluts!

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Me:
"Anyway overhead" means lift the fucking weight over your god damned stupid head anyway you freaking want! As long as you are firmed up under the bar in the end like you would be for a shoulder press, arms & legs at full extension, legs should be shoulder width apart. Its not rocket science.

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Derick:
And that it? No squat, no Press or jump? How weak. Maybe I won’t start Crossfit again.

Don’t be bitter Stuntman!

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Me:
Try it fuck face its harder than it sounds.

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Derick:
Not really. 135lbs. Easy power snatch every time. Hey, what maybe a struggle for you, maybe a warm up for others! SUCK IT!

Ouch, you sir are a dick... Jason needs to work up an evil work out just for his blasphemous ass.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

A load of squats

Today's punishment:

For time:
50 Air Squats
Row 750-M
50 Burpees

Result: 12:33 (Huge thanks to Sarah for pushing me through the last 20 burpees!)
Pukey Scale: 3

When I saw this workout last night I noticed a trend throughout the posted workout, all of the movements are quad and glute intensive. For those of you readers that aren't very bright let me explain to you why this was a cruel calculated action by Jason. Yesterday we worked our quads and glutes fairly hard; not enough to fail but definitely enough for it leave us with tired and sore quads and glutes today. When I woke up this morning, I took maybe two steps from bed and attempted an air squat. "Yep, Jason is a sadistic asshole," I said to myself. The warm up this morning helped loosen me up some. The air squats went better than I thought. The row not so much. I definitely didn't keep consistent bouncing around a 1:55 to 2:10 split time, at one point I started sputtering into the high 2s and had to let out a few grunts and remotivate myself. The burpees straight up sucked. I think Steven Hawking could get more vertical leap then I was getting. (I'd rather of used Christopher Reaves in this wheel chair reference but he's dead, RIP. Are there any other famous people in wheel chairs that are living? ... oops digression) After crushing the WOD, cooling down, taking a walk, doing her taxes, Sarah cheered her fellow "heat 1er" (that would be me bitches) counting down my last 20. The push definitly helped, thanks again. I stuck around for a bit and banged out 10 kbs at 20kg then bumped up to 24kg for the final 15 (split into 8 and 7) Gotta beat the commies at their own game.

Rob I don't have a writing staff. Not every one of my blog posts can be funny. So...

SUCK IT.

--Stuntman Mike

Squats and such

Today's Punishment

Back Squats
5 x 5 @ 90% of 5-RM

Result: 145 (93%)

Not a bad start to the week. Didn't miss a set. The last two rounds were challenging but I never felt like I was losing control. Nothing hurts yet, but never during the squats did I feel particularly uncomfortable, and there is usually a direct correlation between the two. The Baconator and I did a nice long warm up (20 lb increments starting at 45) which I think really helped. Don't get too optimistic kids, this is the calm before the storm. I ended up pumping out 25 commie swings at 20 kg after just to prepare.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike