Monday... errr... Tuesday

Today's punishment:

"Two 4 Tuesday" Dual Mod ~ WM

AMRAP in 15 minutes of

15 SDLHP @ 63/95

15 DU's

Result: 4 rounds 6 sdlhps
Pukey scale: 3 of 5
Sadism scale: 3.5 of 5

Can't get this song/dance out of my head. (NSFW: not safe for work)



Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

O Danny boy

Today's torture:

"Danny"

AMRAP in 20 minutes of

30 box jumps
20 115lb push press

30 pull ups

Result: 1 round plus 6 pull ups
Pukey scale: 4 of 5
Sadism scale: 4 of 5

Man this one sucked and, thanks to the fuckface, my ass still hurts from yesterdays lunges. But I love me some CrossFit Happy Hour. Nothing takes you out of the pukey zone better then an ice cold brew.

So no amusing blog post today as there is more drinking to be had. I know you are heart broken.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

Every second counts

Yesterday's punishment:

Deadlifts

4 x 3 @ 90% of 1-RM

*Rest 3-5 min. between sets

Result: All complete @ 225lbs (90% of 250lbs)
Sadism Scale: 3 of 5 (huge pain difference between 1 and 3 heavy reps)

Today's punishment:

For time:

Run 400-Meters

30 KBS @ 16-k/24-k

100-ft Walking Lunges

Run 800-Meters

100-ft Walking Lunges

30 KBS

Run 400-Meters

Result: 16:10
Pukey scale: 3.5 of 5
Sadism scale: 4 of 5

This one was shitty, shitty, shitty. I am happy it wasn't yesterday's workout because I would have been way slower. And as we all know in CrossFit... every second counts. In fact that is the title of the CrossFit movie. Never had I realized how important that was until this weekend when we, the Seminoles, we lost to poor time management against the Hurricanes this weekend. (Ok, really we lost because of a shitty defense and a bad red zone passing game, but that is out of the scope of this post's theme.)

Man, that was a really good game and I really wished for a few more seconds so the Noles could have punched it in at the end. A few more seconds on that clock and I really think they could have... or a couple of saved timeouts too. Just think if the offense had hustled back into place just a little faster earlier in the half, a few more seconds could have done the trick.

Say what you want about other fans... Miami fans are the worst ever. (Some Gator fans are trying to win this title too because most feel they deserve every title or trophy on the planet... ((Not any at CFFM though)) but I digress.)

Why they are the worst:

1) Miami fans are obnoxious. Most fans cheer for their team. Miami fans just taunt the other team. There are assholes in every fan base, even my beloved Noles. Most is a 80/20 split of cool fans and douche bags Miami is about a 10/90.

Unfortunately, FSU has been down lately and I have seen them lose to lots of teams. Most fans cheer the win, no one really shoves it in our face on the walk of shame back to the car. Miami fans wouldn't shut the fuck up before the game, during the game, and worst of all after the game. On the way there we saw a Nole dad almost kick the shit out of a Miami fan because the Miami fan was taunting his 6 year old son. It was craziness.

2) Miami have THE most fickle fans on the planet.
Miami fans only show their pride when they are undefeated or playing at a high level... during football seasons. Week 1 I always see tons of Miami stuff... then if they lose, nothing. I have only met one Miami fan that actually went to school there. Last week she thought they were going to be horrible this season. Now after they scape by with a win she thinks they could go undefeated. Seriously.

When they lose though they quickly jump on another bandwagon and root for them... the best case study of this was the kid sitting behind me at the game. He wasn't wearing a shirt or a hat. He was being completely obnoxious (par for a Miami fan). When Florida State was up by 10 he put on a FSU tee and hat. No lie. We all started laughing at him. Here is his picture:



3) They can't come up with good taunts.
If you are going to spend 100% of your time rippin on us, come up with something better than FUCK YOU or YOU SUCK. One of the small 10% of cool Miami fans was actually making fun of the lack of creativity in his fan base. He said he could curse for 5 mins straight without repeating a word but these pin heads couldn't come up with anything better than FUCK YOU FSU. Oh and Miami fans told us to "Go Fucking Home" after the game. Uhhh, that doesn't even make sense.

Anecdote: There was a polite Gator fan sitting in front of me (in a Gator polo and hat). I asked him why he was watching this game when he could be watching Tebow set the world record for most consecutive circumcisions in an hour on ESPN2. He laughed... but mysteriously didn't come back for the second half of the game, hope he knew it wasn't for realz.

So all you Miami Fans...

Suck it!

--Stuntman Mike

PS Being hung over during the 4th quarter really blows.

Sloppy Snatch

Today's punishment:

Power Snatch

8 x 2

*Assistance Strength Work:

Snatch-Grip Deadlift

3 x 5 [add +50lbs from best Power Snatch]

Result: 85 because they were so sloppy; 165 on the snatch-grip dead lifts
Sadism scale: 2 of 5 getting a good snatch is a hard work.

I don't think I have done a snatch since 2008, quite the dry spell. In the past six months I have really been working and improving my clean n' jerks so I didn't think a snatch would give me so much trouble, but I am really out of practice. At first, I just couldn't get my hand position correct for the snatch. Jason has been doing snatches for a long time so he was watching and giving me pointers. He told me to move my hands slightly, so I repositioned my hands which helped a lot. After that the biggest thing holding me back wasn not being able to explode. I kept trying and trying, moving my hips the way Jason told me to but I just couldn't explode. So I never got past an 85 pounder because my snatch was just so sloppy. It is really hard to get a good snatch, but I am sure if I work hard enough I will get one! For now, I'd rather just get someone to...

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

15 touchdowns

Today's punishment:

15 rounds of:
100 yard sprints

Pukey scale: 3 of 5
Sadism scale: 2 of 5

What a great way to celebrate the beginning of college football season!

Here was the results and my prediction for college football this year. (Regular season not bowls)

1) 15.56 - Florida - Sadly I think the Gators run the table this year (SEC Champs)
2) 16.36 - Texas - Will go undefeated (Big 12 Champs)
3) 20.38 - Ohio State - Undefeated regular season (Big 10 Champs)
4) 16.90 - Oklahoma - One loss to Texas
5) 22.62 - Boise State - Undefeated (WAC Champs)
6) 22.62 - Alabama - Two losses (1 reg loss, conf champ loss)
7) 23.97 - Florida State - Two losses (ACC Champs)
8) 21.40 - Cal - Two losses (PAC 10 Champs)
9) 19.41 - LSU - Two losses
10) 23.19 - Penn State - Two losses
11) 23.50 - Georgia Tech - Two losses (1 reg, 1 conf champ)
12) 23.34 - Mississippi - Two losses
13) 26.08 - Georgia - Three losses
14) 21.91 - USC - Three losses
15) 16.56 - Kansas - Two losses

Suck it.

Stuntman Mike

Clean N Jerks... too easy

Today's punishment:

C N J (Clean ~ N ~ Jerk!)

H-E-A-V-Y

1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1

Result: Officially set 1-RM CNJ @ 145. (Didn't have one recorded yet)
Sadism scale: 2 of 5 (almost broke my back on a failed rep)

My blog post was one day to early or this is Jason's subtle nod to yesterday's topic. Anyways, I could continue on about masturbating and clean n' jerks but that would be too easy. Today, I am going to discuss...

Brett Favre's backcracker block from last night. Fucking tits that's all I have to say.



(The wildcat runner was Percy Harvin, btw)

The old bastard comes out with gray stubbly whiskers. Everyone thinks its just a normal preseason two-hand touch game and BAM! he wakes those fuckers up Stuntman Mike style. Was it cheap and unnecessary, yes. Could it have ruined that poor safety's career, yes. This may be a defining moment for Brett Favre; due to his reckless abandon, he may have finally changed his public opinion. Brett Favre was always mister perfect-do-no-wrong, yet he has been unsuccessfully been trying to become a villain for 4 years. (Not sitting out when injured, waiting to the last second to start playing so the team can't practice properly, getting coaches fired, pissing off Jeff Garcia... etc) People just couldn't find a reason to hate the guy. Now you can all rally against him like you have always wanted to deep down. Bring on the hate.

This is the second awesome preseason game in a row... thank god for football season.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

PS Can some one from 6 AM remind me to put this one in my book... kthxby

Still sleepy Monday

Today's bullshit:

AMRAP in 15 minutes of

3 HSPU

5 Pull-Ups

7 KTE

Results: 8 rounds + 2 handstand push-ups (using 8 notebooks)
Pukey scale: 2 of 5
Sadism scale: 4 of 5

Handstand push-ups are no joke and they are vastly less enjoyable then their sibling the kegstand push-up but I digress. Lets review this WOD in slow-mo. First you do some hand stand push-ups, then you tear the fuck out of your hands on the pull up bar doing pull-ups and KTEs. Then you drop back down on the floor with your now bleeding hands and put the ENTIRE WEIGHT OF YOUR BODY on them for more handstand push-ups. Repeat. Oh Jason you are a sadist indeed. Luckily mine did not tear did not tear thanks to my intense work out this weekend that required a lot of Vaseline, my hand and... sorry we almost about to head in the TMI category... fuck it... MY PENIS! I was nice and conditioned for this Monday demoralizer. Hope the rest of you get lots of my cock sweat on those chalky hands of yours.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

PS... best article headline ever: http://www.marketwatch.com/story/baker-hughes-buying-bj-services-for-55-billion-2009-08-31

A Tim Tebow Tornado Shall Smite Thee!

Today's punishment:

Back Squat

4 x 8 @ 75% of 1-RM

*Refer to 08.06.09

Result: @ 135 lbs (81%)
Sadism: 3 of 5

However, a funnel cloud was spotted as fans were entering the stadium, leading some to wonder if it was a sign sent to warn the Miracle not to mock Tebow.
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4426329

ESPN??? SERIOUSLY???

Expect some Tebow jokes on this blog during hate week.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

Good strategery

Today's punishment:

AMRAP in 20 min of
Run 400-Meters
Max Rep Pull-Ups

Result: 15 + 10 + 10 + 10 + 17 = 62 pull ups & 2k run-ish
Pukey scale: 1 of 5
Sadism scale: 2 of 5

Good job 6AM for going all RX'd and Sarah for knocking out of the park at 75! Back is still a little sore but it is definitely getting better. CFE WOD tonight... fun, fun.

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike

Self medication

Let me catch you up...

Friday's punishment:
Writhing in back pain

Yesterday's punishment:
8x4 Push Jerks @ 75% of 1-RM
Result: 105 of 145 (72%)
Sadism scale: 3 of 5
Back still hurts. Fuck you Jason! DT got the last laugh after all.

Today's punishment:

3 rds for time of:

25 SDLHP @ 63/95

25 Push-Ups

Run 400-Meters
Results: 23:33 subbing the SDLHP with 40 WBS to save my back
Pukey scale: 2 of 5
Sadism scale 3 of 5

Uh, can't get past the back pain. I tried warming up with the SDLHP and it hurt at 65 lbs so Jason being the "nice person" that he is let me sub it out with WBS... then added 15 extras to not hurt his rep as an evil bastard. The WBS felt ok but I was surprised how much my weak back made the push-ups more difficult. Planking was no fun. The advil I took for a migraine last night helped, this got me thinking. What would CrossFit be like... on drugs?

CrossFit + Marajuana = DNF every time. "It's too hard man, lets just eat some donuts instead"

CrossFit + Ruffies = You look at the previous day's WOD and can't believe what you did.

CrossFit + Coke = Great for any workout < 20 minutes, bring a sweat rag. Just hope your heart doesn't explode.

Crossfit + Acid = Watch out for the flying medicine balls.

CrossFit + Extacy = Keep away from the roller foam.

CrossFit + Vicodin = Makes all the CrossFit pain go away... brings the pukey scale to 5.

CrossFit + Crack = You steal the CFFM AC unit.

CrossFit + PCP = Triple your 1-RM (and blow out all your muscles... then get tased by the police)

Suck it.

--Stuntman Mike